We not only need Tiger mums, perhaps tiger friends, tiger spouse as well.

Amy Chua (the Yale professor and self-professed Tiger Mum) may have sparked controversies about her parenting methods, but many would probably have to agree that her parenting works, even though it seems too extreme at times:

NOT allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.

The list, quoted from an excerpt of the article only describes some of the things her kids went through as they grew up. Perhaps many will jump to conclusions and past judgement too fast about:" OH, this parenting is so wrooonggg! " 


In the modern American context where personal rights and liberty is written all the way into constitution, the demand for personal freedom and freedom of expression is now met with the direct opposite: an iron grip discipline and control of parenting. 


According to Amy, the freedom to do things the way children want allow them to settle for mediocrity, while that of a disciplined upbringing will bring the best out of the child. If necessary, the best way is always to put the child to shame, and punish if the child is not putting in his/her best effort in what they are doing. Perhaps to the public, it sparks an outcry, with people labelling her as insultive or even abusive with her choices and her no mercy words. 


However, one must also note that, despite all these years, what made the kids successful was not only the hard-styled no nonsense discipline from the mum, but also the deep love that must have been so ever important. Without it, the hard line approach is destined for failure. 


If it were you, would you take up a criticism from a total stranger? Certainly a close friend's genuine feedback weighs more. Even so for the people we love. People only listen to you when they know how much you care about them. The same is for us.


I'm convinced that the Love of Amy for her kids motivated her to drive her kids to success, rather than to watch them settle for second best in life, but more importantly, it was this love that kept it going. I'm very sure Amy must have had a intimate relationship with her kids and it would have shown through many other ways. Things are certainly not as they seem behind Amy's family closed doors. 


In the Bible, God teaches us to always ' speak the Truth in Love '. It is something easy to say and even hard to put into practice. 


I'm of the opinion that we probably not only need tiger mums, who will tell us of the lack of discipline we have, but also tiger friends, who are not afraid to tell us the truths about ourselves. And who knows? A tiger spouse who will be our best counsellor and friend. Above all these, yet a criteria must satisfy: Love.