Why can't Love be simple?

Why can't Love be simple?

"Don't find Love. Give Love." 

A close lady friend made a remark about relationships: "Why can't it be as simple as: Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. Boy pursues girl and girl responds. Boy Initiates courtship and surprises girl. And girl accepts!"



We grow in an age where Modern Christian living has never been at such at odds with itself. Many times in life fantasy fairy tales and movies bombard us how and what Romance should be like. The ideas or ideals of Chivalry and Biblical Manhood. The modern Christian is as confused as anybody out there searching for Love.

I learnt many a truth in life:

Many things in life is simple, but not easy.


While Love is indeed simple, it isn't supposed to be easy. Anyone who has been in serious relationships before will know that without troubles or trials to test the foundations of Love, our Love will NOT GROW. Only when it has stood the test of trials and time, can Love, and even our Faith be known to hold true for us. In short, we can never know if a person is able to make it through difficulties with us if we never meet difficulties. That is why it was never meant to be easy.

As it turns out, my friend's main concern is the hurt associated with why Loving someone is so hard, because it feels as if we gave a part of ourselves away to others, only to find it being trampled sometimes by those whom we love and trust. Yet we discover to our shock we are hurt through the process.

Our Lord Jesus Christ's example
C.S. Lewis has a quote which is really one of my favourites:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
― C.S. LewisThe Four Loves

I love this quote because I know it to be true that, when we love, we are exposing ourselves to be rejected, and hurt in the process. Because we cannot control how others react towards our Love. But if we swing to the extreme that if we do not want to be hurt, we therefore close our hearts and minds and hide it away, it ends up "breaking" our own heart and God's heart. Because the heart no longer beats. It's no longer alive. It becomes... Dead.

When Jesus came over 2000 years to the Israelites, similarly His heart was grieved. How can a people who know of God's miraculous wonders, experienced His deliverance and Love REJECT Him? Yet this was exactly what they did. They even went to the extent of crucifying Him on the Cross at Calvary.

Did God not Love them? I'm very sure He did. Similarly God gave Christians similarly 2 simple commandments:

1) Love Your Lord Your God with all your Heart, your mind, your soul and strength.

2) Love your neighbour as yourself.

Yet, when we look at the world today, we ashamedly fall short of that many times in Life. Even our closest Christian brothers and sisters can hurt us. But that is not a reason to throw in the towel.

Don't we all learn how much love we are lacking through our experiences in Life? Don't we only know how to treasure that we have when we lose what we take for granted?

Life is simple. But it is not supposed to be easy. Love is too.

That is why, my friend. Here is a training ground for us to learn, not how we can always receive love from others. but also to give freely our love to others. Because it is easier to give away our Love than to ask for Love in return.

"Don't find Love. Give Love."

I have been loved, loved, and hurt others while being hurt. All these are regrets that become a part of who I am. However it does not have to define who I will be tomorrow. These experiences will only make me more sure the next time I meet and Find her, the one I'm still searching and have not known, and I know she is searching too. As of now, I shall Give and steward my relationships with my family and friends that God has entrusted.