God, I'm so overwhelmed

Was pretty overwhelmed and caught sight of this blog post that lifted my Spirits because of God's Word in It. The verses Psalm 61:2-4 really ministered to me alot.

Reposting from: http://www.biblewriter.com/overwhelmed.htm

Overcoming that Overwhelmed Feeling

"...I will cry to you when my heart is overwhelmed." Psalm 61:2

Opening Prayer: Father, I've done it again. I've let the pressures of this world overwhelm me. What do You suggest?

Can God-fearing people feel overwhelmed by life? Sure. It happens to you. It happens to me. It happens more often than we realize. This lesson is being written because I recently experienced a few weeks of feeling crushed by the weight of everything.

The usual excuse these days is "the pressures of modern life." But there's nothing modern about or unique about stress. Two thousand years ago, our Lord said, "In this world you will have tribulation." And a thousand years before that, King David wrote many Psalms expressing his fears and anxiety.

Psalm 55, verses 4-8 could have been written by a parent concerned about violence in public schools:

4 My heart is severely pained within me, and the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
5 Fearfulness and trembling have come upon me, and horror has overwhelmed me.
6 So I said, "Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest.
7 Indeed, I would wander far off, and remain in the wilderness. Selah.
8 I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest."

Please notice that the writer KNOWS his situation is out of control. He can't fix it. He can't even stand to think about it. The only hope is to flee, to try to put physical and emotional distance between himself and the problems. "Maybe I need a backpacking expedition to Yosemite or a trip to a little-known tropical island..." Can you relate? Have you felt like that?

The first step is to realize that you are not alone. Your problem is not unique. King David -- described in Scripture as "a man after God's own heart" -- frequently felt anxiety, judging by the number of Psalms that speak of terror, grief and fear.

But I thought Christians were supposed to have it all together, with "perfect peace" and all that stuff.

There IS a verse that describes perfect peace, and we'll get there before this lesson is over. But for now, realize that only Jesus had it all together, and even He felt anguish. Try reading Psalm 22, which Jesus cried out from the cross. When you read it, remember that Jesus voluntarily experienced that anguish on your behalf, because He loves you. He is moved to compassion by your "overwhelmed" condition. Just like He was moved to respond to the helpless and overwhelmed people of 2,000 years ago.

In Mark 1:41 we read how Jesus reacted to the ultimate outcast of His day, a leper:

And moved with compassion, He stretched out His hand and touched him and said, "I am willing. Be cleansed."

Note that the Lord Himself, God in human flesh, was MOVED with compassion. The plight of this man -- who could not be cured by his own efforts or by any human doctors -- caused Jesus to be moved with compassion. Then He TOUCHED the man.

Did Jesus feel moved by the folks who felt comfortable and self-sufficient?

You can be sure that our Lord did not run around trying to touch and heal people who felt they had it all together. He did not appear on television and teach the power of positive thinking. He was moved by the people who KNEW they had needs. And He touched them.

The Lord has done the greatest works in my own life at those very times when I was the most helpless and overwhelmed. When I deserved help the least -- and needed it most -- my Lord was moved with compassion to help me. Will He do any less for you?

Let's look at Psalm 61, verse 2:

2 From the end of the earth I will cry to You when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.

The second step is to cry out to the Lord when we feel overwhelmed. And notice what we should cry out for: We urgently need higher ground, and we can't get there unless the Lord LEADS us there. Contrary to what some contemporary religions teach, the solution is NOT inside yourself. You already know that intuitively. You need a Rock (Jesus) for shelter from the storm -- a sheltered place HIGHER than the flood waters. A safe place higher and stronger than ourselves.

Let's continue in Psalm 61 and see what else we can learn.

3 For You have been a shelter for me, a strong tower from the enemy.
4 I will abide in Your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings.

Notice the verb tenses in this passage: "...You have been..." and "I will abide" and "I will trust." The Lord God HAS been a shelter to David in times past. The Lord HAS been a strong tower, protecting David from his enemies. David's enemies were consistently evil and violent, but God was consistently watching over David and sheltering him whenever David cried for help. God HAD proven His faithfulness.

Yeah, but that was a very long time ago. Life is very different now. Don't we need new truths and new solutions?

Yes, David lived a very long time ago. But people today are no different in any important sense. Our vehicles are faster, our music is louder and our toys are more expensive. But human nature is no better or nobler for these cosmetic distractions. In fact, the ineffectiveness of most secular counseling is proof that we've lost sight of the real issues and answers of life. The Bible keeps reminding us that some things never change. Fortunately, God's nature doesn't change.

Didn't you mention some Scripture about "perfect peace?"

Yes, and thank you for asking. But before we go there, remember that this is one of God's very special blessings. And while His love is unconditional, His blessings are usually conditional -- they require some small effort on our part to qualify for something too wonderful for us to ever achieve own our own. Having said that...

Isaiah 26:3 says:

3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed (anchored) on Thee, because he trusteth in Thee.

In this case, the blessing is perfect peace. In the Hebrew, it's "shalom shalom" -- the normal word for peace repeated for emphasis, to show that this is something quite special.

So what's the catch?

Very simple: in order to qualify for perfect peace, we need to anchor our minds and hearts on the Lord Himself. We need to trust that our Lord keeps His promises. We need to trust that He loves us personally and passionately. We need to trust that He'll save us somehow, even if there's a nasty storm raging outside. We need to trust that it's safer to stay anchored to Him than to drift off and flow with the tide.

So how does all this relate to our subject of being overwhelmed?

If I'm feeling overwhelmed, then I've let my heart and mind drift from God. I've fastened my attention on my problems rather than my Lord.

So how exactly do we re-establish our anchor and get over being overwhelmed?

We need to do what David did in Psalm 61 above: start praising God for His faithfulness and his loving kindness for us. If we divert our focus away from our problems and onto Him, the Lord Himself will reward our faith and give us His perfect peace. On the other hand, if we stay fixated on our problems and put our confidence in the power of our problems to overwhelm us, we'll probably be overwhelmed. Can you guess which approach I prefer?

But teacher, you don't know my problems.

True. But how do your problems compare to what Jesus experienced on the cross -- on your behalf? I can't relate to your problems, but He certainly can. So if you start praising Him and thanking Him for His love and care for you, you will experience the most amazing peace. And the peace will come before your problems go away.

Praise: The forgotten gate to prayer

Sometimes I get so focused on my problems that I forget some key principles in Scripture. In retrospect, it does sound silly but I often lose sight of the fact that prayer has a "gate" through which any believer can enter into the presence of God.

The gate to prayer is in Psalm 100:

1 Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.
2 Serve the Lord with gladness: Come before His presence with singing.
3 Know ye that the Lord, He is God: It is He that hath made us, and we are His; We are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.
4 Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise: Give thanks unto Him, and bless His name.
5 For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness [endureth] for ever, And His faithfulness unto all generations.

Verse 4 is more than quaint poetry. It is a simple call to rise from our bed of tears and look -- in faith -- to the Lord Who loves us. This is not easy, or more people would get it right. But if we fill our minds, hearts and mouths with praise to God, we'll find that God's presence is right there, just ahead of us.

This works for two reasons:

• We can't easily concentrate on two things at once. Speaking praises out loud will DISPLACE some of the dark and gloom.
• Praising God -- while our problems continue to rage around us -- is an act of faith. And faith is the key to everything in God's kingdom.

Faith is taking some positive action based on God's Scriptures, even when our circumstances look like the forces of evil are going to win the battle.

But teacher, how could a good God let me hurt so bad?

I don't know your circumstances, but God does. All I can say is that you must step forward in faith, praising our Lord for His faithfulness and proven character. Enter into His courts with thanksgiving and praise. Give up your "right" to be angry about your circumstances. Approach the Lord as a hurting child seeking a comforting parent. And the God of peace will make His love real for you.

Closing Prayer: Father, I've drifted away from You in search of other pleasures and other treasures, and the storms have overwhelmed me. I praise You for Your faithfulness to me in times past; help me re-establish my anchor in You. Amen.

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Psalm 22:1-15: My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me? Why art Thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning?
2 O my God, I cry in the daytime, but Thou answerest not; And in the night season, and am not silent.
3 But Thou art holy, O Thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.
4 Our fathers trusted in Thee: They trusted, and Thou didst deliver them.
5 They cried unto thee, and were delivered: They trusted in thee, and were not put to shame.
6 But I am a worm, and no man; A reproach of men, and despised of the people.
7 All they that see me laugh me to scorn: They shoot out the lip, they shake the head, [saying],
8 Commit thyself unto the Lord; Let him deliver him: Let him rescue him, seeing he delighteth in him.
9 But Thou art He that took me out of the womb; Thou didst make me trust [when I was] upon my mother's breasts.
10 I was cast upon Thee from the womb; Thou art my God since my mother bare me.
11 Be not far from me; For trouble is near; For there is none to help.
12 Many bulls have compassed me; Strong bulls of Bashan have beset me round.
13 They gape upon me with their mouth, [As] a ravening and a roaring lion.
14 I am poured out like water, And all my bones are out of joint: My heart is like wax; It is melted within me.
15 My strength is dried up like a potsherd; And my tongue cleaveth to my jaws; And Thou hast brought me into the dust of death. Click here to return to the main lesson.

Why it's good to be a Little Child =)

Watching on as a bystander, I noticed how a little girl was posing for her Mummy's Iphone Camera.Then, seconds later she was hopping in a bubbly way over to ask how did the picture turn out, asking her mummy to show her. (the times that makes one go:"Awwww.. shoo cuteeee.") Such Joy from the little girl exuberantly infected me as I smiled to myself too.

"It's so good to be a child." - I thought to myself.

Being a child is a common experience for everyone, and it is one of the times where most of us would be of no worries. Carefree and free as a little bird flying around, we do what we want, obviously oblivious to the people and surroundings we do the most silly things in. As we grow up, we then start to become more sophisticated in our thought and behaviours... and that's perhaps the point we cease to be a child anymore. We just can't go back.... or can we? And then I got reminded of what Jesus spoke about being a child in Luke 18 about Babies and Little Children (just 3 verses!):

The Little Children and Jesus
15 People were also bringing babies to Jesus for him to place his hands on them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. 16 But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 17 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” - Luke 18:15-17

I have been a part-time Baby-sitter because my Mum has been a baby sitter in the past 10-15 years of her life, having the privilege to witness 4 babies from the point of being a baby to the point where they past primary education (at least). There are times where being a Baby-sitter gives you the best joys in the world (when the Baby smiles or laughs!), and at other times you could hate it the most (when it cries non-stop,driving you nuts). I do still like little kids though, cause they are so cute sometimes. Perhaps those who have become parents would appreciate this post a lot more.

It's incredible, then how a Baby, or even a Child's emotions are summarised into two separate extremes of emotions: Laugh or Cry.

Kids nowadays are pretty smart and actually skip through their childhood into maturity wayyyyyy too fast in my opinion. Just ask my 5 year old cousin what she thinks of certain things and she can rattle on, even sound like a small adult. Not new to technological advancements like the Ipad or Iphone, PSP, computers and the internet (Oh my, even my parents dread the thought of using a computer)

Children, well.... are not as innocent as before in the past, in my days, in my parents' days. I would like to think though that in Jesus' time, kids were pretty much Kids - Little Children who were innocent and like I mentioned simple-minded and oblivious to many things, concerns, worries, and people. And we still see that in kids nowadays - just that it has been cut so ever short.

I reflected on the three verses above and thought on why, or what qualities (if you were to coin it this way) makes a Baby or a child Better in a sense that Jesus would actually say that whoever does not be like one of "those little kids" (yes, pesky little ones!) would enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

And it's perhaps best summarised in two words as well: Laugh and Cry.

1) Crying:
Little children, especially kids, Cry at EVERY (yes every!) possible scenario, it's amazing to say the least. Be it when they are Hungry, thirsty, afraid, needs attention, has poo-poo-ed or Wee-wee-ed, THEY CRY. Crying is the one single option for them to express to SOMEONE that they have something that needs to be taken care of.Obviously, little children cry to their parents, as if instinctively that their needs will be attended to (or maybe we were created that way).

Why Cry when you know nobody will come? But the little child will not know this at all, he/she just simply cries until the point they get what they need. It's incredible too how a child is totally reliant on it's parent and guardian to take care of things: Firstly, the baby can't cook or make milk for itself. Next, it can't feed itself. And then, even after feeding, infacts need to be patted on the back until they burp, in case they vomit out and choke. It can't change it's own diaper if it had poo-poo or wee-wee in it. The child just knows how to cry.

How many times in life, even after we grow up, are we going to run into situations as if we "poo-poo-ed" and need someone to take care of the situation? Countless I can assure you, and many other times that would be close calls. Who are we going to cry out to in situations like these?

There will be many things in Life that we cannot and will not be able to handle - Just like how the baby or little child can't even attend to it's own needs.

Jesus says in Matthew 6:25-34: "...do not worry about your life... your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness....", elsewhere in Philippians 4:6, it says "Do not be anxious about anything... but by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.", Psalm 55:22 also says: "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you...", 1 Peter 5:7 also says. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (all from NIV translation)

God Simply wants us to cry out to Him in scenarios like these.

We don't need to handle everything to the point we are so stressed and zoned out. We are not alone even if no one is there to help us in however bad the situation is. We just need to simply realise many things are out of our hands, but is in God's Hands. We can trust God will come just as He promised to minister to us, just like how a parent would care for all the needs of a child, who can't do anything.

God wants us to come to him and the "Helplessness of a child is in fact to the child's gain". John 15:5 says “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." How true, how true that the branch relies on the Vine for all it needs - How true a child relies on the parent for it's needs. God wants us to respond in this way too, He wants us to know He can be relied on for our needs.

2) Laughing:
Laughing is an emotion likewise known to all of us. It's amazing how infectious this joy can be and how a child's laughter can bring satisfaction to a parent. The simple games of "cluck-cluck tongue", "Peek-a-boo", "tickle-me", "fall from height" "piggybacks", "horse-riding" brings so much laughter and is much fun to a child who know not of the Ipads, Iphones, MacDonald Happy meals...you name it.

it's funny to the parent and on-lookers when the child tries to mimic the "clucking tongue" but never be able to do it yet, "Peek-a Boo" not knowing that they are really never hiding, and the hands are not much of a cover, "Tickle me fights" that they always LOSE, but still laugh."Fall from height" where the parent drops the child only to catch it, not knowing the danger.....It's to the child's gain that Life's simple pleasures Satisfies. The Child knows not so much worries that steals joy from it, certainly it is just simply...Happy.

Ignorance is Bliss, perhaps, but Blissfulness not always mean we have to be ignorant. We do in fact know that material things, certain pleasures that we enjoy will all cease to pass someday.We are striving for many things, thinking it would bring us Happiness. Society and Culture psycho us into suscribing to it's versions: Money brings you happiness! Having the Good Looks brings Happiness! Being Popular Brings Happiness! Being successful brings happiness! Perhaps, these things bring temporal sense of happiness, however, it will not last.

Some claim Love will not pass away. It's sad nowadays that sometimes even families fight over money. Relationships with people are now watered down versions of what they ought to be. What's the measure of Love can also be substituted with materials. Kids nowadays dare to ask their parents to buy them luxurious things, and claim they don't love them if their wants are not met.

John 15:9-11 says however that: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."

There is a kind of Love that's promised to us that wouldn't pass away, and that is God's Love. He only asks us to remain in His Love for us so that our Joy may be complete. What Joy you may ask? The Joy perhaps knowing that Jesus can be your greatest friend, to go to in times of need to share your life with in times of happiness. The Joy knowing that we are loved, not because however worthy of Love we are or not, knowing we are accepted fully, however flaws we come with. The Joy you share when God does something wonderful through you by using your life to touch the lives of others...

God simply also wants us to Delight in Him. This is repeated in Nehemiah 8:10 "Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” David, a man described as after God's own heart also says in Psalm 28:7 : "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song."

It amazes me how delighting in God can be a source of strength for our everyday life. Perhaps with that joy, we grow to appreciate the things in Life, rather than grumble at the things we lack. We are always lacking somehow, but we can be content.

Philippians 4:4 says not once but twice about rejoicing, and in the Lord. "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"

God wants us to be happy in Him because He is the source of Life, the true giver, even though sometimes we desire the gifts more than the Giver of the gifts Himself. Having Joy in God is infectious too. I have met people whose lives are turned around because of their Faith in God. No matter how troubled their situation is, they are not wallowing in self-pity, but in contrary living Lives to the fullest by turning their lives to invest into the lives of others - They become others Joy as well.

So there we have it... Cry and Laugh. The two extreme of emotions rolled into one in our egnimatic hearts. Oh, and yes,we can still choose to be little children, as God has called us His children :)

Not Running anymore

Been a good three months ever since I recorded anything on this page. This page as I am reminded tracks a journey God has brought me onto.

In this past year God has brought me on an important journey to find out:
1) It is very much important to know what it entails and mean to follow Him. No turning back =)
2) I have to break out of my own comfort zone after not being in a stable church community for about a year. It became incredibly easy to just walk in to multiple churches without the obligation to join any activities. But God has revealed that it's now time for me to fill that void of community that's vital for my walk with Him.

Yet, when my final semester started I began to sink (literally it felt). And I started to runaway and shrink from  the things I felt God entrusted to me because I doubted whether I could handle them.

Matthew 14:22-33 speaks volumes of my feelings and fears of the things ahead. But even more comforting is that God will take us by the hand when we cry out to Him to save us.

Matthew 14:31 says: " Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said,“why did you doubt?”"

Sometimes I wondered, what did Peter doubt? Was he doubting Jesus? Or that he could walk on water like Jesus? Or that the winds and waves would engulf him? Or...? It strikes a Parallel to me that I certainly feel at times that the challenges ahead would take me over.

Today, I again proclaim my trust in God. Yes, I do not know what holds for tomorrow, but I knowit is He who holds my hands.

Again, reading The masculine Mandate and about working and keeping (Gen 2:15), I have decided to take courage again and strength to handle the things God placed in my life.

Prayer pointers:
1) That I would have the serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change those I can't and Wisdom to know the difference.
2) I'm going to accompany my dad to checkup on his lungs (apparently doctors diagnosed a dark patch in his lungs and he's scheduled for retrieving some samples for testings) I pray that It would not be something too serious and also that I will be able to take care of him this tuesday.

What it means to Deny oneself to pick up the Cross and Follow Jesus

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. - Matthew 16:24   

As I reflect and visit all the broken pieces of my heart with Jesus, all the painful emotions flood to mind as the tears well up, threatening to burst right through the eyelids that always tries to acts tough in front of others. The past one year has been an eventful year for me. From fallen from Grace back to being in God's Loving arms has been sort of a rollercoaster of a ride.

Yet, I'm amazed because I came out stronger, my eyes opened to fresh insights and perspectives of who God is and what He wants for me in Life rather than my own pursuits. God always draws Man onto Himself, and I'm grateful to be a beneficiary to know not just the Abundant Life but He who gives it.

Trials and challenges purify our Faith all the time, and when we grow to something stronger, God always shows us a new gap, another thing we need to direly move on towards. Perhaps this is why we need God: We can never be perfect, but only imperfectly perfect.

In our lives, what is it that we direly seek...? Love? Wealth? Companionship? Family? Power? 

God is always reminding me that There is a Price in following Him, a cost for discipleship. In the past, I have always overlooked it, because I have much that I wouldn't just let go to God. The Rich young Ruler in Luke comes to mind as I reflect upon the verse above. For the ruler, he just couldn't give up his wealth. It wasn't that money isn't good nor was it because of the sheer huge amount he amassed. It was because money became the hindrance he couldn't give up to follow God, even when he knew God was the Life the Resurrection. The Price seemed too huge to lose.

What is that thing(s) that's standing between us and God? 

In Matthew 16, a series of interesting events happened: 

 1) The Sadducees and Pharisees came to ask Jesus for a sign of Heaven but they were turned away (v.1-4) 

2) Jesus immediately told his disciples to beware of the teachings of Pharisees and sadducees because they could intrepret the "weather" but not the "times" (v.5-12)

3) Peter declared Jesus as Messiah and Lord, met with favour that He would build the church upon Peter as the "Rock" (v. 13-17) 

4) Peter the "Rock" rebuked as Satan and hindrance to Jesus, that "He has the concerns of Humans, not the concerns of God." (v.21-23)

Then, came the verse in the picture above:

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. "

Denying oneself truly is hard because in essence, we tell ourselves to give up our "rights", our "entitlements", our "ought to haves" and "deserved" pleasures that satisfy our perceived needs and Lust (note: Lust here refers not just to sexual lust, but all greed and covetousness of things to satisfy our own wants). 

As a University student, who doesn't want to score A's? Who doesn't want to be rich and live comfortably? Who doesn't want to have all attention and Glory in front of peers? Who doesn't like to be someone popular? The list is endless. But if we step beyond certain areas, there may be no return anymore. Pursuit of money? It actually isn't the money that is bad. Money is good and useful and a neccesity in today's context and world! It's actually the condition of our hearts that can cause that pursuit to go on to wreck other areas of our lives if left unchecked. I'm pretty convinced it's not the things on the world that can wreck my life, but the knots in my heart that God wrestles so hard with to untangle.

Being real with a God who is real to us is one of that daily struggle I come to encounter. What is the thing(s) that I Covet most that actually pushes me away from God, i.e. a hindrance to Him working into my life? Am I able to lay it down, deny myself of it just to follow God? Am I even at the least willing to come before Him to admit when he already knows everything...? 

The Cross is of huge significance to me given that Jesus Himself came as God incarnate, the Son of God to die for us, giving Himself in redeeming us from Sin that is so evident in our daily lives. In this, He showed an example crucial to our understanding of "taking up the Cross". While the cross is a symbol of torture and death, it's not just merely a portion of sacrifice. Jesus Himself gave up thewhole of His life on the Cross that we may in turn have access to Life through His Death by giving ourselves in wholehearted Devotion to Him. No wonder the verse after that says:

25 For whoever wants to save their life[f] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?27 For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.

An oxymoron indeed in verse 25. I always marvel at Biblical passages that seemingly are opposite ends and contradict: "when I am weak, then I am strong", this understanding is so deep and profound that it's counter-intuitive to the way we normally think. 

Finally, Jesus gave the invitation again to Follow Him.

The account in Luke even adds the term "daily" at the end of this verse, signifying a daily momentarily and ceaseless process of "denying oneself and taking up the Cross to follow Him." 

To me, it's a life-long journey that I can only continue to take one step a time each day. I pray that this verse continues to remind me each day to Choose Jesus over any other thing that comes along to try to wrestle my attention away. 

What can I say but give it back to Him who gave me everything that I have now? 

What could I say?

What Can I do?

But offer this Heart O' God

Completely to You

Biblical Masculinity?

The past year I had was really fabulous, and God was among it all: The Divine chanced meetings with certain peoples became crucial in this year that it turned out to be. I'm going to start on my FYP (Final year project) which is interesting due to the relation to mosquitoes and my course of study Chemistry. Singapore is really a place plagued by seasons of Dengue and hopefully what I am going to do can contribute a little to fighting against it.

Well! This past year has been interesting to say as I re-looked at the concept of Masculinity. There have been much thoughts going through my mind because obviously many Biblical characters hardly make the mark of "being a man" in the world's context.

Don't know what I'm talking about? Okay, lets look at Abraham! When God called him out of his homeland, he was afraid harm would come to himself due to his pretty wife. So therefore, to save his own skin and protect himself, he put his wife at risk, not once but twice. In today's context, that's a 100% wimp isn't it? Yet God looks at the character of Abraham differently, because we all know he goes on to become the Father of Faith on his sacrifice of Isaac.

Another character that captivates my mind is David. A small shepherd boy just delivering stuff to his brother who's suppose to be the soldier fighting Phillistines, or Goliath: the massive Giant. Yet he became the unlikely hero as he took down Goliath, when the soldiers, including King Saul himself was hiding in safety.

What exactly makes a man A Man in God's eyes? 

I'm very much sure as I continue my journey with God and also looking more at the characters in the Bible my concept of masculinity will continue to be shaped. Surely, it's not just about fame, power, strength... there is something much deeper at the Core of it.

Adam, Jacob, Joseph, Hosea, Jonah, the 12 disciples, Jesus himself.. there's a ton of people we gotta look at from fresh perspective altogether.

What does it mean to follow Jesus, and be His Disciple?

Ray Vander Laan is one gifted and anointed speaker of the Word of God. More interestingly, I like how the series "In the Dust of the Rabbi" contextualize the Biblical context to the modern 21st century Christian and non-christians so that we may be aroused in our senses to see what Israel was like, to feel and get immersed into the Word of God.

Here, from youtube are 2 sets of videos on Discipleship. What does it mean to truly be a Disciple of Jesus? Hope these videos give you fresh insight onto what it means to follow Jesus. God Bless.

"Help me please! I can't find strength anymore."

The title above represents truly a cry of our hearts in our deepest and darkest times of need. To whom shall we turn for hope? To where shall we search for light?

Sometimes in life we often encounter situations where we hit a rut and we lose all hope of a turn around. The song above titled "Dark before Morning" describes the cry of the heart to keep believing, even when the odds are against us and we are in a difficult situation not able to see what is ahead. Hope the two stories below encourages us to press on in our times of difficulties.

The story behind the song goes like this: (copyright attributed to EMI and Josh Wilson)

Josh Wilson’s new single is called “Before The Morning”. It’s a really special song! Here’s what it’s all about…

“Before the Morning” is a song about hope. It’s inspired by my dear friends, Tim and Paula Beal. 5 months into their pregnancy, Tim and Paula went to the doctor to find out if their baby was a boy or a girl. The doctor told them he was a boy, and then he went on to tell them that there were only 2 valves in his heart (instead of 4), and his kidneys and lungs were not functioning. He said that their only option was abortion. Because of the depth of his complications, no doctor would touch Jayken because he could never survive the dialysis machine during heart surgery. The Beals were also told that due to the extent of the problems, they would soon be digging their way into a financial pit that would ruin their marriage.

Tim and Paula went home and prayed. They fasted. They asked everyone they knew to pray and fast with them. They knew they needed to trust in the Lord, because he was the One that “knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13).

On January 11th, 2002, Jayken was born. The doctors said he had a 2% chance of living longer than four days. By the grace of God, Jayken is now seven years old. After three heart surgeries, many sleepless nights, and countless financial struggles, the Beals are still believing a day at a time in a Savior who won’t let them go. They are learning what it means to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).

Tim told me that “the odds have never been in Jayken’s favor, but God is so faithful.” The Beals are living proof that no matter what our circumstances are, God can work anything out for our good and His glory.

This album is entitled “Life Is Not A Snapshot.” If you took a snapshot of a particular moment in the Beal’s life, it might look like there isn’t a lot of hope for them. But sickness and struggles are not the end of the story for those who know Jesus. We believe in a God who saves. We believe in a God who heals. At the end of every email I receive from Tim, he writes “fighting the fight until I see His face.”

We believe in the Bigger Picture.

No matter what you may be struggling with, know that “the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us” (Romans 8:18). Our pain and struggles are very real, but they are only the dark before the morning.

This song is for Jayken David. His name means “Victory through grace for God’s beloved.”

Posted in Josh Wilson, Sparrow Records Tagged: Before The Morning, Josh Wilson, Life Is Not A Snapshot, Sparrow Record
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This video below shows another Mother who kept faith too.. in keeping her child and choosing to believe in God and trust in Him to overcome all the odds.

The Right Choice from laceybuchanan on GodTube. (c)

Truly these testimonies have been a great encouragement to me, and I hope they bless you too.

God is Unfair??

Recently while having Bible study with my group of buddies, we came across one passage in the Bible regarding Abel and Cain. Now we all know the story according to the Bible:

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Abel and Cain
1 Adam[a] made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain.[b]She said, “With the help of the LORD I have brought forth[c] a man.” 2 Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.


Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. 3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. 4 And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.


6 Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”


8 Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.”[d] While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.


9 Then the LORD said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”


“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”
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We had this one question in mind if :
"Was God unfair to show favor to Abel and not Cain?"

Is God a carnivore? who appreciated meat more than some vegetables? Did he love Abel more than Cain? Why did God look on with favor on Abel and not Cain? We thought since God is a God of Justice, doesn't this contradict directly with His Character that "He so loved the world that He gave His only Son..." The underlying assumption here is that God's Love is unconditional and equal to all.

Before we look at scripture, lets look at some definitions..

jus·tice   [juhs-tis] Show IPA
noun
1. the quality of being just; righteousness, equitableness, ormoral rightness: to uphold the justice of a cause.
2. rightfulness or lawfulness, as of a claim or title; justness ofground or reason: to complain with justice.
3. the moral principle determining just conduct.
4. conformity to this principle, as manifested in conduct; justconduct, dealing, or treatment.
5. the administering of deserved punishment or reward.

fair [fair] Show IPA adjective, fair·er, fair·est,adverb, fair·er, fair·est, noun, verb
adjective
1. free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice: a fair decision; a fairjudge.
2. legitimately sought, pursued, done, given, etc.; proper underthe rules: a fair fight.
3. moderately large; ample: a fair income.
4. neither excellent nor poor; moderately or tolerably good: fairhealth.
5. marked by favoring conditions; likely; promising: in a fair way to succeed.

Where did the concepts of Justice and equity come about? What is fairness? If we look at the world today, even though we advocate fairness in theory and ideality, in practical terms, TRUE FAIRNESS isn't really existing anywhere. Look at our established civilisation of recorded history of about 5,000 years: Man and Women have unequal treatment right rooted in History, and social discriminations exist everywhere.

1/3 of the world have access to all the riches and resources while 2/3 of the world are locked in poverty. We do not take that long to realise that, in Fairness, we have an unattainable ideal that even as we try we may not achieve. The question of course then, is that: Will God, being the fair judge as described in the Bible be able to uphold a character He supposedly possess?

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The Heart behind Abel and Cain
In the above Biblical account, on surface it would seem that indeed God favored Abel. Was this justifiable? Verse 3 describes as such: "In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. 4 And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering,"

From a human point of view in my humble opinion, this 2 verses alone speaks volume about Abel and Cain's reverence of God. Cain was described as taking "some of the fruits of the soil", while Abel was described as taking "Fat portions from some of the firstborn of His flock". We do not know the basis for God's judgement, but we do understand a little bit about the hearts of Abel and Cain: Abel took the best he could offer for God, while Cain, we could argue really, he did the same.

The difference was the response of God and more so, the response of Cain:"but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

We have read about how God desires Mercy and not sacrifice in the Bible, while Pharisees in Jesus' time was concerned with ceremonial sacrifice, their hearts were really far away from God. I would propose that in this case, the Heart of sacrifice mattered most than the item of sacrifice. And this was truly indeed where Cain fell short, became angry and jealous of his brother, when God already told him, if he did right, he would be accepted by God too.

Yet, God's judgement to Cain didn't mean death, instead, we know that according to the Bible, he suffered a consequence being cursed of the ground that will no longer bear fruits for him. God still provided him safety from being killed by others :"But the LORD said to him, “Not so[e]; anyone who kills Cain will suffer vengeance seven times over.” Then the LORD put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him."

We saw that in fact it was Cain's own heart that caused him to sin against God and murder his own brother.

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Jesus' Parable
Fast-forward the story to Jesus, John was referred to as "the disciple whom Jesus loved". Of course this didn't mean Jesus did not love the other disciples. In fact, He loved Judas, the man who would also go on to betray Him.

Jesus of course had an inner circle of disciples, the 12 whom He called the apostles. Was God a God of favoritism? He chose mere fishermen, tax collectors, ate with Sinners and the ceremonial unclean people, people who were outcasted in their day.

In fact, he crystalised the concept of fairness in this parable found in Matthew 20 alone:

The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard
1 “For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. 2 He agreed to pay them a denarius[a] for the day and sent them into his vineyard.

3 “About nine in the morning he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. 4 He told them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ 5 So they went.

“He went out again about noon and about three in the afternoon and did the same thing.6 About five in the afternoon he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, ‘Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?’

7 “‘Because no one has hired us,’ they answered.

“He said to them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard.’

8 “When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.’

9 “The workers who were hired about five in the afternoon came and each received a denarius. 10 So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. 11 When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. 12 ‘These who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.’

13 “But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? 14 Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. 15 Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’

16 “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

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Again, this passage strikes a similar parallel to the Abel and Cain story. In the parable, the owner gave each worker 1 denarius, which was equivalent to a day's wages. This was solely to provide for the workers families, for they had no jobs and were standing by the marketplace, with nothing to do.

The people who went in the morning to work felt unfair because they thought they ought to receive more for the work they did, compared to those that came in the evening, and by the owner's grace, got 1 day's wages, so their families would not starve. Instead of being grateful for the job given freely in the first place, and getting as promised what they agreed to, their hearts turned ugly.

verse 13 sums it up well and puts things into a nutshell:
 “But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? 14 Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. 15 Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’
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Ending thoughts

We often like to bargain and argue with God over how unfair He has been. I have done it before, but I realised at the end of the day, God, as God, He didn't have to care about me in the first place. Although that being said, we still have Grace in our lives, the fact that we are able to live, breathe, enjoy life, being provided for and sustained.

We can look to God and have 2 responses as the 2 illustrations show, but will it always be:
1) God is never giving me enough and hence being unfair

2) God is just and has more than enough given and provided, even though it may not have been as I wanted.

The former makes us follow the footsteps of Cain and those "workers" in the vineyard. But the latter allows us to give thanks, knowing that we would always be accepted if our hearts are right with God. God, as the master of wages and the fair judge IS fair because He judges the hearts of Man, the things unseen more than what the human eye can ever comprehend.

God, is in fact fair and just too. Because Jesus did not have to come to die for our Sins. But for our sakes, Jesus did. If Jesus did not come, surely we be held liable to suffer the consequence of Sin. If He let us go freely, He cannot be upheld as a just judge. But He didn't leave things to doubt.

We are the ones who are found wanting before God. If God isn't fair, why bother crying out to Him for fairness? So many people before us, like Cain has been making that cry thoughout the Bible. Almost like a broken tape recorder on the replay.

We can have bitter experiences, but we can choose not to be a bitter person.

Tanya, was just a very young girl when she was orphaned in Cambodia. Her long distance relatives took her in but abused her emotionally and psychologically, treating her worse than a human being. She had to eat with the family dog, and was chained whenever the family went out. She eventually went to one of the government's orphanage.

It was one of the worst places for a child to grow up in, because they had little resources and role models they could take after. The kids were practically raising one another. At age 18, like every other orphan, she was "Let Loose" on the streets to fend for herself.

She was lucky to meet a pastor and his wife being missionaries in Cambodia who took her into their dormitories and vocational schools which was set up to help the young find their feet in society. Today, when Tanya walks into any room, she brings up the mood of people around her with her infectious joy. She brings a smile to the faces of the people she meet and today she is actively involved in helping others find their way in life.

Tanya has probably all the reasons in the world to be bitter, angry, to feel unfair, to grumble, complain, to be hateful to people around her. But instead, she chooses to be joyful and happy.

We can be broken people, but who hasn't have some sort of broken experience? The key is always our response to the circumstances around us. We can CHOOSE.