A lot of doubts start seeping through my mind as out of my 4 years with God, this is the year I'm treating it seriously, as in, my faith and relationship with God more seriously than my previous 3 years. I see it as a learning point everytime I "suffer" in some sense, telling myself, its something God puts me through to mould me.
Where has all the joy of living as a Christian and enjoying my relationship as God's child all gone to? Am I living it all right? Or is there more to things that meet the eye?
I confess to God that a lot of times I crumble under pressure and give in to the easy way out. I have been too slack in studies, and that explains my poor results. When something goes wrong, I'm quick to find explanations, reasons for things gone wrong.
In reality, are we sometimes living in self-denial when things are obviously not the way they are? Forever I can find 101 reasons to convince myself I'm correct and on the right path. But yet, God shows and reveals the heart of man.
I cannot find Joy because deep down, I have not allowed God to change my life to the fullest extent He can and I'm holding on to things I'm just not willing to let go. But all these have to go, I have to change, and about time too.
God gives us free-will and unless we make that effort to WILLINGLY change and let our lives be entrusted to Him and transformed, we cant. We simply cant by our own efforts do something we were not made to do. My life will not make a change just by knowing what's wrong. I have to make a conscious decision to change and allow God to change me.
"25The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life." John 12:25
Am I willing to let Go? Yes.
Have I let go fully 100% now? No.
This is a big major problem for me, as I grapple and bargain with God for things which do not belong to me. Who is the Lord of my life? Is it me myself? Or God? Does not all I "have" come from He who knows me better than I am? What then is stopping me from fully surrendering what's not even mine in the 1st place to God?
The Joy a christian ought to be enjoying out of his walk with God is from God. and until I can truly grasp that I cannot be joyful, for I am constantly trying to fill up the "joy" with things in the world.
Have u, like me, been sapped from the joy we ought to enjoy as God's children, Let me pray for our sakes that we find true Joy in God. The true joy I have just found goes back to the very first day I accepted Christ.
I was happy, knowing my sins were redeemed in Him, I know my life is in His hands. I was happy.. just plain happy to know He works in my life.
Father Lord,
I'm so sorry for always finding excuses for myself.
I know deeply that true Joy should come from knowing you,
for there are many things that give momentarily happiness but
does not give the true joy I should be enjoying.
Help me, Lord, to be realeased from my thoughts and bondages,
that I may live a life surrendered to You, and so rightfully find joy
in doing so.
Lord, you give and take away, all that I have comes from you,
and I want to trust in You to be the Lord of my life.
I truly give thanks to You Lord, for dragging me along so many a times
I just feel like giving up. Thank You for reminding me of the initial Joy
of knowing You. May this Joy and peace be with me, whereever I will go
and till the very end of the days till I meet you..
Amen
0 Response to "Where is all the JOY?"
Post a Comment